The importance of conflict resolution skills
None of us likes conflict. Many of us do everything we can to avoid it. But conflict is a part of life. And at some point, you are likely to experience conflict both on and off the court.
Conflict can affect your performance in other parts. Left unresolved, personal conflict can seriously affect your performance on the field. The good news is that using proper techniques to address and resolve conflict can be a real opportunity to build teamwork and trust.
The goal is to keep conflict to a minimum so you can focus on performing at your best level. Conflict resolution skills can be divided in two parts – preventing conflict and resolving conflict. Building effective skills in these areas can have a positive impact in all aspects of your life.
Manage stress before it leads to conflict
Stress, like conflict, is an unavoidable part of personal and professional life. As your career develops and more demands are put upon you, stress can become more intense. The key is to accept that stress is a natural part of life, but you must also be aware of the toll it can take. If stress is getting so intense that you are experiencing more conflict with teammates or family, or if your on-court performance is suffering due to stress, you will want to take action to reduce stress in your life.
Below are some key things you can do to limit stress in your life and prevent it from leading to conflict.
Diet
What we eat and drink has a direct impact on our body’s response to stress. Eating healthy will help you protect against stress as it will give your body a sense of well-being.
Exercise
If you are feeling stressed off-the-court, a short jog, a bicycle ride or stretching can trigger endorphins that relieve stress and promote a sense of well-being in the body.
Massage
Massage is a very effective way of reducing stress and it is also very therapeutic for the muscles as part of a physical training programme.
Relaxation
There are specific relaxation techniques that are proven to relieve stress and prevent it from building up. Breathing and visualisation exercises can be particularly effective. These exercises calm the mind, which helps us prioritise what we think (and stress) about.
Healthy communication
One reason stress builds up is that we often do not talk about it until it overflows. To reduce stress in a proactive way, talk to people around you who you trust and are willing to listen. Friends, family, teammates and therapists can offer a listening ear.
Say “no”
None of us can “do it all” and trying to can lead to resentment, which is a fast-track to conflict. You do not have time to do it all and you will have to set your priorities and learn to say no.
Sleep
With adequate rest, your body can respond to stress and conflict in a healthier way.
How do people deal with conflicts?
Everybody reacts differently to conflict. Being familiar with different approaches to conflict is a key step to dealing with conflict before it gets out of hand. When you have a conflict with someone, try to remember that they probably have a different response to conflict than you do, and as a result, you will need to understand it and acknowledge it before moving forward.
Here is a summary of different styles:
Competitive
People who lean towards a competitive style take a firm stand and know what they want. They usually operate from a position of power, drawn from things like position, rank, expertise, or persuasive ability.
Collaborative
People leaning towards a collaborative style try to meet the needs of all people involved. These people can be highly assertive, but unlike the competitor, they cooperate effectively and acknowledge that everyone is important.
Compromising
People who prefer a compromising style try to find a solution that will at least partially satisfy everyone. Everyone is expected to give up something, and the compromiser also expects to relinquish something.
Accommodating
This style indicates a willingness to meet the needs of others at the expense of your own needs. The accommodator often knows when to give in to others but can be persuaded to surrender a position even when it is not warranted. This person is not assertive but is highly cooperative.
Avoiding
People leaning towards this style seek to avoid the conflict entirely. This style includes delegating controversial decisions, accepting default decisions and not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Once you know your own natural response and understand the style of the other person with whom you are in conflict, you can adjust your response in such a way that leads to resolution more quickly and effectively.
Hints to resolve conflicts
There is no miracle way to end a conflict, but the following approach might help you settle a conflict effectively.
Step 1 – Set the scene
In this step, your goal is to establish mutual respect between each other and identify the common goal of resolving the conflict and growing your relationship. It can be helpful to be in a neutral setting.
Step 2 – Gather information This is an opportunity for both sides to present their views and concerns. Remember these key points as you listen to the other person:
Ask the other person for his or her point of view and genuinely confirm that you respect his or her opinion.
Listen actively. Put your point of view aside and really listen to what the other person is saying. You will have a chance to present your view.
Present your view calmly and honestly. Speak assertively without being too aggressive or submissive.
Use “I” statements – “I feel…” “I’m frustrated because…” Do not make accusations toward the other person or place blame.
Step 3 – Agree on the problem
This may sound obvious but confirming what the conflict is all about will ensure that you are working toward the same goal. People can perceive the same situation in very different ways. You may actually discover that you are frustrated about different things.
Step 4 – Brainstorm possible solutions
Both sides should come up with possible solutions. This way, everyone involved feels like they had impact on the final outcome.
Step 5– Implement the solution
Once you come to a mutually accepted solution, be genuine in implementing it. Express that you will make a good faith effort moving forward. As long as everyone stays calm and open-minded, a resolution can happen quickly and in a way that builds relationships over time.